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With all she has been through, we have tried to keep her close to Christ and to her Confirmation saint, Saint Gianna.We pray the Hail Mary with her nightly, and treat her just as our other kids are treated. It was so nice to see that day, that somehow, and some way, she knew Jesus was in that room.Kids have a wide spectrum of outcomes, and often times things that happen along the way as they are growing also impact those outcomes.Now at 4 years old, she is talking, she is up on a walker moving herself around, she loves to sing and learn and play just like other kids. It’s hard enough with typical little ones at Mass, but with her it poses an additional challenge.But she was emphatic enough, so I gave in and let her go to the door.She pulled her walker close to the glass, put her hands on the glass, and looked inside. ” I walked over behind her and couldn’t see anything due to the reflection, but as I looked in, I realized what room it was.My older children probably don’t even realize that, yet Meagan knew – she just knew His presence and wanted to be close. She is still clunking her big leg braces between the pews, or slamming her walker in to the wall or pillars, or constantly talking, not understanding how to whisper or be quiet, or on bad days arching backwards with head pain I don’t even want to imagine.
My job as her mother is to bring her closer to Christ, and find her way to heaven after this life is over.
Before we know it, we have our little kids sitting in Mass with us behaving “pretty well” most weeks. Then, there is the experience of being Meagan’s mom at Mass. One Sunday while at Mass, Meagan was having a little rougher time than normal.
She goes through the same list as above – but – imagine that there is no process for the time being. And, even more challenging, there is never a clue as to what will set her off – whether it be into a frustrated tantrum, or whether it’s into joyful, albeit loud, noises that do not cease. We had a lot of rain come in, and because of her ever changing pressure in her brain, she has a very hard time with weather shifting.
She would down the back aisle of the church, hitting the pillars, sides of the walls, or people’s feet if I wasn’t fast enough.
She was happier and more content being in Mass that way, but she was loud.
When her four older sisters were toddlers or younger, of course they went through the things we typically go through with those ages.