Dating sex 17
A lot of ace people date, get married, have kids, and all that other mushy relationship stuff. Navigating relationships can be confusing and complicated for everyone — asexuals included.
"I only ever had one boyfriend and we broke up due to my asexuality without me yet realizing I was ace.
Otherwise, it's quite hard." —Riley/20/Asexual "None of my partners ever believe [that I'm ace] because I do have sex, and they tend to chalk it up to being naive.
Usually, as the relationship progresses they get a better idea of what it means and how it works in a long-term relationship.
It's difficult for him to understand my feelings towards sex as I don't particularly seek it out but I realize it's an important part of a relationship for him and I have no problem with that."—Summer/21/Asexual "The main challenge has been making sure they are fully aware of what it means to be ace.
It hasn't had a large effect on the emotional side of my relationship, but it is relatively new.
I think the best thing is that there's not this idea hanging over my head of, 'what's going to happen when we get old/fat/have kids and aren't attracted to each other anymore?' Because for me, it was never about that."—Dan/26/Queer "My past relationship suffered due to a lack of intimacy and at the time.I didn't really know what asexuality was and it wasn't something that I had yet identified with.So we were having regular sex and I started to feel a paralyzing dread about maintaining this relationship.I felt guilty for 'tricking' him into a relationship that involved sex, even though that was not my intention at all.
I think the best part of being ace and in a relationship is that we focus much more on the intimate side of romance (without sexual attraction there to distract me) and the emotions that go alongside it.